Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Gov. Spitzer's New N.Y. Driver's License Test

1) Are you a terrorist who illegally entered the United States of America?

A. Yes.
B. No.

If you answered "yes" please proceed to the next question.

2) Governor Eliot Spitzer thanks you for being honest. Do you plan to vote for him when he runs for re-election?

A. Yes.
B. No.
C. Only if you can learn to fly a commercial airliner.

3) A white painted curb means:

A. Loading zone for your automatic weapons.
B. Loading zone for your improvised explosive devices.
C. Loading zone for your rocket-propelled grenade launchers.

4) Which of these vehicles must always stop before crossing the Long Island Railroad tracks?

A. Your tank.
B. Your truck towing enriched uranium.
C. Any vehicle with your favorite machine gun mounted upon it.

5) There is a crosswalk and you see a pedestrian preparing to cross. You should:

A. Motion for the pedestrian to cross with your AK-47.
B. Dismount your vehicle and organize a stoning of the pedestrian since she was showing ankle.
C. Scream "death to America" at the pedestrian as you pass.

6) New York's driving while intoxicated law states upon a first conviction the penalty will be:

A. $350 fine and probation.
B. Chopping off your right hand.
C. Your public hanging.
D. You hope it's B and C.

7) In parallel parking, the wheels should be how far from the curb?

A. Within one foot of your handgun.
B. Within two feet of your knife.
C. Within 18 inches of 72 virgins.

8) If you decide to become an organ donor, what patient do you most want to receive your organs?

A. Osama bin-Laden.
B. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
C. Salman Rushdie.
D. One of the 72 virgins you mistakenly thought you'd meet. Damn.

9) What message is seen on a red octagon-shaped sign?

A. Stop.
B. Stop Blowing Yourself Up.
C. Death To The Infidels.

10) The speed limit in Tehran and Damascus is:

A. 55 MPH.
B. 50 MPH.
C. Hamas and Hezbollah never told you.
D. You'll have to check with Governor Spitzer.