Chichester Edits Statements For Accuracy

Christine Anderson, Governor Richard Milhouse Spitzer's press secretary, defending the effort to use the State Police to ruin Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno's career:

“The Governor has a duty to his constitutional office and to the place it holds in our democratic system (a new generation of Haldemans and Ehrlichmans have been helping him do his constitutional duty). This provocative and misguided action therefore requires extended litigation at considerable taxpayer expense (if the Governor's State Police Superintendent and Communications Director had agreed to be placed under oath there would be no extended litigation) . . . Furthermore, the Executive Chamber is now forced to employ outside counsel to fight the Senate’s abuse of power (I cracked myself up when I wrote 'abuse of power.')

“The Senate Republican Majority is engaged in a purely partisan exercise (unlike us can't-we-all-get-along Kumbaya singers on the Governor's staff who have never engaged in purely partisan exercises) that serves no legitimate governmental purpose (could lead to Attorney General Andrew Cuomo defeating my boss in a 2010 primary) . . .

" . . . A partisan Senate inquiry into the Chamber’s ethics would, itself, be inconsistent with basic ethical principles. The Commission on Public Integrity should be allowed to do its work (Commission Head John Feerick better come up with a total whitewash for my boss or he's going to understand what getting steamrolled means).”

The Daily Chichester

We finally have Romney, who voted for Democrat Paul Tsongas and Rudy, who voted for Democrat Mario Cuomo, clashing big-time.

The WaPo on what no Republican candidates want to talk about.

Governor Richard Milhouse Spitzer's aides get subpoenas for trying to concoct a plan to ruin Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno's career.

New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly is the latest to oppose R. Milhouse's scheme to provide illegal aliens with driver's licenses.

Obama finds a General (who also supported John Kerry) who can help him rid the world of nuclear weapons, meet with every thug and Stalinist on the planet and invade Pakistan.

Saturday Leisure: Chichester's One-Sentence Movie Reviews

Hoosiers

Coach Norman Dale (who never existed), played by Gene Hackman, becomes the Hickory (real name: Milan) High School basketball coach and Assistant Principal Barbara Hershey immediately hates him for no reason and Coach Dale finds he only has six players try out for his team (which never happened) and he kicks Buddy off the team for being a smart mouth and finds out that Jimmy Chitwood is Hickory's super-human basketball player and sitting out the year (which never happened) because manhood-robbing Barbara Hershey wants him to get an academic scholarship instead of an athletic scholarship to college and Coach Dale boldly tells Jimmy I-don't-care-if-you-play and Hickory starts to lose games and there is a Hickory Town Hall meeting called to fire Coach Dale (which never happened) where Barbara Hershey gives a boo-hoo-hoo Kleenex box speech urging that Coach Dale be kept but he is fired until Jimmy Chitwood shows up and says he's playing again but only for Coach Dale and they re-vote to keep Coach Dale and Hickory goes on a winning stampede with Jimmy and Buddy, with no explanation at all, is suddenly back on the team and Coach Dale and Barbara Hershey have a you-have-to-look-away-from-the-screen big smooch and Hickory goes on to be the smallest school to make the state championship game and Coach Dale gives a five Kleenex box boo-hoo-hoo locker room speech before the game saying "I love you guys" and Hickory wins the championship against a team from Indianapolis with 11 Michael Jordans on it.

The End.

Next week: Friday Night Lights