Thursday, September 20, 2007

How To Annoy Chichester

Candidates, incumbents, flacks and their supporters should do every single humanly possible thing and avoid using these words and phrases since they cause Chichester's head to explode.

At the end of the day (Chichester looks for an open window).

There you go (There Chichester goes screaming from the room like Baby in Dirty Dancing).

Actually (Remove from every sentence ever spoken and the point is the same).

Basically (Am I so stupid that it has to be "basically" to understand?).

To be perfectly honest (When were you lying?).

Presence of mind (Every mind has a presence.)

110 percent (There's no such percentage there Fields Medal winner).

Back in the day (Chichester looks for a noose).

Dude (Chichester murders a surf board).

Conscious decision (Every decision is "conscious," Sigmund)

Props (Chichester hires Tim Robbins to help him tunnel out of the conversation).

Closure (Anyone over 18 years of age who utters this word is forever disqualified from adulthood).

Dawg (Chichester tries not to turn into Randall Patrick McMurphy).

Outside the box (Chichester walks into the ocean like Swayze in Point Break ).